Humans of Ōtautahi: Brendon

We partnered with Humans of Ōtautahi to profile several local men on what being "Manly As" meant to them. Meet Brendon:

“I don’t really consider myself being that masculine. One way I consider myself masculine is being a good dad, hopefully being a good dad. That to me is probably the most male thing that I can hope for.

I have quite a bit to do with netball, coach, play, umpire. My daughters are pretty hard out into it as well, so that keeps me into it. I had friends that were playing, a mixed team and they needed somebody else to play to fill their team. I loved it straight away. I have been playing it since I was 18 and now I am 41.

I coach, umpire and ref for girls teams. I think the parents like the idea of having a male coach sometimes, because they are different. I feel like I don’t have to be as aggressive as some of the women do. I can be a dude playing netball and they see me as a coach figure anyway. The women have to assert themselves, I don’t have to do that as much. There is so much drama on the side-lines that our coaches have to deal with, parents coming up to them and arguing with them, that sort of stuff. I never get that, I think because of the way I look.

Having daughters, I want my girls to do anything they want and not have to be worried about stereotypes. It's less about what guys need to change and more that I want my girls ideas to change about what they can do.


The main thing I would like to see changed about stereotypes of men, is that you have to be an alpha male in order to be a man sort of thing. I don’t see myself as an alpha male at all, I don’t really want to be an alpha male. I would like to live in a world where there are no alpha males and women can do everything that men can do and not be held back because they are females. 

No, I don’t try to live up to a stereotype. I don’t try and be what other people expect me to be. I have always been quite a big guy anyway, so people tend not to try and bug me about it.

I am obviously a dude. It comes back to the whole thing where people obviously see me as one way, I don’t try and persuade them either way, that’s just how I am. I don’t know, people see me as a sort of macho dude, ok call me a macho dude. I don’t care, that’s just how it is for me.”